This One’s for Madison

It’s not that I don’t like children, exactly, it’s more like a severe allergy. Every time I’m around them I start to itch and break out in hives. Nevertheless, I managed to suffer through several years of working while one or more of them roamed the immediate vicinity of my station. I even tolerated their presence in my own salon for awhile, until that fateful day a 3-year-old little boy threw a tantrum and kicked a hole in my wall. I was done. D. O. N. E. FIN as an Italian movie would say.


Since the dawn of the new millennium, I have had no trouble politely — or not, as the situation dictates — telling clients that they absolutely cannot bring their children to the salon. Quite frankly, I prefer not to allow exceptions even for kids who have appointments. Take ’em somewhere else. They make me itch. If a client shows up with kid(s) in tow? Yup. I make her reschedule. There’s no bending my rules. I done told ya when you booked yer first appointment, I don’t do kids. Don’t think yer gonna slip one past me!


Almost two years ago, I closed my salon and joined the “Ex-Owners Club.” I found myself a cozy spot where I can quietly rent a booth in a salon where the bills are all in someone else’s name. The downside to all that upside is that I don’t get to be in charge of the interior decorating, and I don’t get to be in charge of kids in the salon.


I still have no trouble telling my clients not to bring their precious darlings to the salon. In fact, I have a very bluntly written policy warning everyone that if they are caught bringing children that I will, in fact, “freak out and run away.” And yet ...


... they sneak in. Sigh. Over the last 22 months, I have had just a few people attempt to sneak their kids in. Our salon is constructed in a rather unfortunate way that keeps me from being able to see our lobby area from my table. More than once I’ve discovered someone has brought in her child and left him in the lobby, out of my sight, with the ridiculously naive thinking that he would behave and sit still and go unnoticed by the crazy nail lady. Ha! As if!


Last Friday I got to meet Madison. Fortunately for Madison’s mom, she was my last client of the evening and Madison is old enough to sit through a grown-up nail appointment. Madison and her mom arrived just as I was insisting on taking pictures of the previous client’s nails — because they came out so freakin’ awesome! After I met Madison and gave her mom an exhausted “Why don’t you like me?” look, I proceeded to ask my client how she would like her nails done. Madison emphatically announced that her mother was to do whatever it took to “get her nails in the book.”


Madison was just fine, but my rule still stands. Not only are her mom’s nails going in “the book,” they’re going on the blog so hopefully she won’t take it too personally about my being allergic to her and all, and maybe when she’s in high school — about the time they grow out of the stage where they make me itch — she’ll come in and get her nails in the book!

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