Maggie Rants [and Raves]

I'm Sorry. I Missed It.

by Maggie Franklin | April 10, 2009 | Bookmark +

The BF won't let me watch “American Idol.” This has gone unnoticed by me for the last three years that we've been together largely because I don't want to watch “American Idol.” In fact, I watch very little TV — leaving me feeling quite superior this afternoon as I was reading the back of my Starbucks cup that said Americans watch an average of 29 hours of TV each week. Where do they find the time?

 

At any rate, it recently occurred to me that each previous season of “American Idol,” I have managed to catch about 15 minutes of one show early in the season and that has given me enough of an idea of who is competing to allow me to at least nod and smile and let on that I at least know what everyone is talking about when I get to the salon.

 

This year, I have watched exactly nada.

 

Just before they "go to Hollywood" — honestly, I don't know exactly what that means — I tried to catch a tidbit of the show this season, just so I could follow along with the conversations at the salon. The BF turned the channel, however, and I think we ended up watching “Star Trek; The Next Generation,” which I find infinitely more entertaining anyway. (We're "Trekkers" not "Trekkies" BTW. <while hiding my Star Fleet Academy class ring behind my back> But I am not a geek!)

 

I have no clue who Adam is, or who "the 16-year-old" is. I do know that Scott is related to one of the ladies at my Weight Watchers meetings. But I don't know who Scott is — or was, as I was informed today that he went home.

 

I don't know how to make the BF understand that I have clients who literally don't talk to me after they ask, "Do you watch ‘Idol?’" and I say, "Nope." They spend their entire visit with me talking to my coworkers. I feel so left out.

 

Which is exactly why I watched “Beverly Hills 90210” back in the early ’90s. Had no interest in it, but that was the show that everyone talked about then, and I couldn't hold a conversation with my coworkers unless I was up-to-date.

 

I really liked the salon where we got to watch “Jeopardy.” I can hold my own at “Jeopardy.” Especially the play-along-at-home version where you are not required to phrase your answers in the form of a question.

 

I remember being "talked to" by a salon owner I worked for once. She took me outside and gave me a little lecture. She informed me that one of my clients had complained about me. I was aghast! Absolutely mortified! But it turned out, this client didn't have anything negative to say about my skills as a nail artist — she was upset because she felt I talked over her head. She didn't understand anything I talked about.

 

I felt really bad. Especially since I thought I had a good rapport with this client.

 

I promised I would start watching “Melrose Place.”

 

It was five years later, long after I moved back home to Visalia that it dawned on me — that salon had had three clients with the same name! The client I thought I'd offended wasn't the same person the salon owner had been talking about. I knew exactly who she meant, and let me tell you, that client had the IQ of wax. It was literally painful to try to hold a conversation with her.

 

It's not that I didn't care that she'd complained about my conversation topics being over her head. It was just such a relief to realize that I hadn't upset one of the ladies I really got along with. There was just nothing I could ever have done to find common ground with the one who had actually complained. The girl was vapid.

 

And I never started watching “Melrose Place” anyway. I just explain “Star Trek” to everyone.

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