You Can't Spell Manicure without “MAN”
  • Maggie Franklin
  • October 12, 2009

Here in the central valley of California we like to brag about being the largest agricultural producing region on the planet. That means that we have a lot of guys who drive tractors — along with various other ag equipment that makes most city-folk wonder what sort of strange science fiction world we live in.

 

In addition to all these guys with tractors, we also have a lot of guys who have jobs that require doing stuff. Doing stuff with their hands. Not stuff like making important phones calls on their Bluetooth ear pieces while checking the stock market on their Blackberries during two-martini lunches with the mayor. More like stuff that involves dirt, water, oil, mud, cows, alfalfa, manure ... you get the picture. Stuff that I don't really want to dig out from under their nails.

 

Which works out well for me, seeing as how I also live in an area where most men do not really think of manicures as a manly thing to do. My own boyfriend uses the pocket knife blade on his Leatherman tool to dig the gear oil and other various Mercedes Benz and BMW fluids related to his job out from under his nails.

 

You'd think he'd have really nice nails, being hooked up with a nail tech and all, huh? But no. I refuse to touch those things. They are beyond my talents. I'm a manicurist, not a magician.

 

Household conversations on this subject do tend to get interesting. On one hand, I'm in the biz. I don't think there's anything wrong with men getting manicures. In fact, a lot of men desperately need them. On the other hand, I'm not all that interested in doing men’s manis. No offense, guys, but it's boring. I don't get to create something new. I don't even get to paint. The best I can do is clean, and most of the men-folk in my parts require more cleaning of their nails than is realistic to expect in just one sitting. But that's what they want — they want to get ONE manicure just before a major event (usually because their wife, or wife-to-be, insisted) and have it be 180% better just like that!

 

HAHAHA! I could scrub the BF's hands with a wire brush on a drill until the flesh was ripped from his bones and it wouldn't clean the grease out of his skin!

 

You know what does work? White cheese.

 

If I gave him a block of Monterey Jack cheese and let him knead it for 10 minutes, it would pull all the grease and grime out of his hands and leave them looking good enough that I could pass him off as a manicurist's boyfriend!

 

But I'm not going to sacrifice my cheese. And I don't know how the State Board would feel about my using cheese as a manicuring tool. So I guess it's fine with me if the boys want to keep their grimy hands. I'd rather do enhancements anyway.

Keywords:   clients     salon services  

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