Even Cows Get Tipped

Sometimes I consider implementing a "no-tipping" policy. Being as how my income from tips averages out at about two bucks a client over the year, it seems like it wouldn't really cost me much and maybe it'd make me sound all professional and upscale.

Then again ... obviously it's not like a significant portion of my clients are bothering to tip me anyway. Might as well just let those who do go ahead and feel generous.

I’d consider it if I thought that by not accepting tips that my clients would invest in more retail, or maybe add on a little extra service now and then, or bring me a latte, or a holiday gift, or remember my birthday, or, well, just generally appreciate that I don't expect tips and make any sort of effort to make it up to me. But quite frankly, I don't see that happening.

I think a handful of my clients who tip now would try to sneak a few extra dollars into my drawer when I wasn't looking. A bunch of the ones who don't tip would see the little sign and say, "Maggie? Do people really tip you?" Which is always a weird situation and an awkward question to answer.

But a lot of people would just shrug it off and make a slightly insulting comment about how now they can afford to get a coffee/lunch/shoes/giraffe — or whatever comes to their mind that makes me want to say, "Yeah. That's great for you. Wish I could get a giraffe."

So every time I think about it I end up deciding to just go ahead and continue to accept the gift, and be genuinely grateful for those who have a little to spare while not holding it against those who genuinely don't, or are clueless about traditional tipping policies.

Maybe someday I'll give them up. For now, I'm saving up for a giraffe.