Purely Anecdotal

I decided that I would try not to bog down the blog with endless musings of my rise to fame and fortune as a champion nail competitor — especially since, at this rate, it's entirely possible that by the time I achieve anything resembling such status I may be blogging from my retirement home on the moon. Mostly, however, I hold a notion in my mind that my blog is aimed at the "every" nail tech. And let's face it, most of us don't compete. And even fewer of us set our mind to foregoing vacation or retirement savings in order to fund several futile registration fees in pursuit of "champion" status. So I try to talk about daily life as a nail tech and come up with stories and thoughts that we can all relate to.

That said, this blog is about competition. But I think you'll all feel my pain, because we've all found ourselves here — if not exactly on the same subject:

I've had more than one veteran competitor, over the last two years or so, suggest a Craigslist ad as a means of finding models for competitions and practice sessions in the salon. Seeing as how I don't want to effectively cut my own salary by offering free sets to existing clients in order to practice my competitions skillz, I decided I would give the Craigslist idea a go.

I was very careful with the wording of my ad. Of course I headlined it with an eye-catching "FREE SET OF NAILS" and then I immediately started the body with, "Of course there's a catch ..." I was careful to explain that I needed live models for practice sessions for nail competitions. I was careful to explain that there was only one style of nail that was being offered here — pink-and-white, sculpted on forms. I explained that the nails were going to be long and it was going to take two-and-a-half hours to do the nails and when we were done, the model would end up with one hand of pink-and-whites and one hand painted red. I included a link to the rules at the official competition website. I added that anyone who was interested should be prepared to be at the salon for up to four hours to allow for prep time and that I would either remove the nails afterward, or make both hands match. I pointed out that these practice sessions would take place at the salon on Wednesday afternoon between 1:30 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. (My usual day off.)

Fortunately, I had some takers from among my former clients — people who already know me and that I'm comfortable with. And then ... people responded to the Craiglist ad.

I have since spent much of my time explaining to people that no, I do not have an "opening" for this session on any day other than Wednesday. No. Nothing on Wednesday mornings, only Wednesday afternoons. No. You may not have leopard print nails like the ones you saw on my website. This is a practice session for acrylic sculptured nail competitions — the nails will be pink-and-white with one hand painted red. No. We will not be done in time for you to pick your daughter up from school. You need to allow four hours. I will be doing a manicure and prepping your nails, then we will be setting a timer for two-and-a-half hours and doing a mock competition, then we will need some time so that we can make your nails match before you leave.

No. You can not bring your child/mother/friend/cell phone/pet iguana in a stroller.

Why is this person still asking me about leopard print nails? No. I can’t do it until Wednesday, March 10. I have other models lined up for the next two weeks. No. I am only doing practice nails on my days off; I have to save the rest of my regularly scheduled time at work to work.  No. These nails are not intended to stay on for two weeks. No. I will not do fills on these nails. Did you even read the ad?

I think several veteran competitors may be pulling my leg.