Mercedes...Mehaz...Same Difference, Right?

The BF is a BMW/Mercedes Benz automotive technician for a small, local, independent shop in town. He's also the best mechanic I've ever known. Which is why I'm dating him. When he left the shop that worked on whatever type of car drove — or was towed — in, he was my mechanic. When he got the swanky German import gig, I either had to start dating him or get a more expensive car that was less suited to my lifestyle. Yes. There are days when I think I should have just gotten the Benz.

The shop he works at does a small amount of retail business. Well, in the same spirit as many of us, the shop he works at attempts to do a small amount of retail business. But it turns out, people are rarely inclined to impulse-buy a $600 Seatbelt purse while stopping by to write out a $3,000 check for their car repair bill.

Nevertheless, they do retail, and one of the things they recently found is genuine — Mercedes Benz nail polish.

And of course I want some!

So the BF informed me that I will be getting three colors, but if I want a genuine Mercedes Benz manicuring implement kit, I will have to "pony up some dough, doll... because any sentence that says 'pony up some dough' should end in 'doll.' " So I visited the link he included with the IM to find a small manicuring kit consisting of a pair of nail scissors, a metal nail file, and some tweezers in a nice-enough looking leather case with a fancy Mercedes emblem on it. It runs $117.

I informed the BF that I already have manicuring implements. He inquired if they were "official Mercedes" and when I said I didn't need that, he said "But it's OFFICIAL!"

At which point I replied that with by that reasoning, I'm sure if Mehaz were to make a car, it would be certain to live up to the reputation of its manicuring implements.

At which point, the instant messenger conversation broke down into the BF not having a clue what Mehaz is and reducing a perfectly respectable company's name into a series of LOL-cat speak jokes. ("Mehaz no cheeseburger," for example.)

Sure. I could find a deeper meaning in all this and hit you with "the moral of the story," but I trust you can find it for yourselves, and we can all just enjoy the story as it is — while laughing at the vision of using cuticle nippers to eat a cheeseburger.