Maggie Rants [and Raves]

“Are You New?”

by Maggie Franklin | January 16, 2013 | Bookmark +

I’ve been in my current location for just over three years. That’s not as long as the massage therapist next door, and almost a full year longer than the hairstylist across the hall.

 

You know what I hate? When their clients stop by, or are brought in and introduced to me, and they say to me, “Oh, did you just open here?” or “Are you new?”

 

NO! I’m not *!%#”ing NEW. As a matter of fact, I was doing your hairstylist’s nails when she was *!$*ing 14 years old — 14 years ago. And how many times have you walked down our hallway and stood in front of my doorway — you know, the door with the big, red, sign that says “The Art of Nailz” on it — and you haven’t noticed that there’s a *!#”&ing nail salonright there?

 

(breath, breath, breath...eye roll...)

 

OK. I suppose it should neither surprise nor offend me that there are still people who haven’t heard of me. Although, I must admit, I really enjoy it when the hairstylist across the hall has a client who thinks I’m a legendary goddess and they go all star-struck when they meet me in person. That is so way cool.

 

I suppose I can kinda understand someone thinking that I may not have been doing nails 20 years if they just met me. But I do not understand how they have been coming to Bre to get their hair done for any length of time and never noticed the nail salon directly across the hall.

 

But asking me if I just started doing nails makes me crazy —C. R. A. Z. Y.Whether it should or not, it does.

 

I want to scream a little. In their face.

 

But I don’t. I smile. I laugh it off and say, “Oh my! Goodness no!” I give them a card and a brochure and suggest they visit my website. “Better yet, just Google me, darling.”

 

Hmph! “New” my @$$.

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