Reality Check

Short and to-the-point: If you hold a world record for something, it’s only reasonable to be prepared that someday, someone is going to best you.

If you can’t hack that reality, retire quietly while you’re on top and just let people think you were ready to hand over the reins to the next generation.

Yeah. In part I’m directly addressing the recent controversy surrounding Amy Becker’s new world record for fastest set of sculptured pink-and-white nails.

But really, that incident just serves as a glaring example of how to, and how not to, behave when the spotlight is on you in all manner of situations.

Smile politely, shake hands, and congratulate your competitor. It is the right thing to do and shows the world that you remembered to put your big-girl panties on before you went out on stage.

I grew up watching Miss America pageants and it always struck me as bizarre when the winner was announced and the runners up were so happy for her. I’m there, sitting on the floor in front of the TV at 8 years old thinking, “Like H*#&! Those girls want to claw her eyes out! Why are they being so sweet? Why aren’t they yelling and cussing out the judges?”

My mom was kind enough to explain that that wasn’t the “ladylike” thing to do. That these girls knew how important it was to keep smiling and be good sports.

It was a lesson learned young for me that I may not have even realized I’d learned until the time came for me to pony up the brave face too.

Well, whatever. I’m sure we’ll all spend the next year or so griping and mud-slinging and arguing whether or not Amy “cheated” by using a technique no one else thought of using.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the next time they hold a race for the Guinness Book of World Records for fastest full set of sculptured pink-and-white nails the wording outlining the definition of “sculptured” will be far more specific.

In the meantime: Congratulations, Amy!