Minions — I Need More Minions!

Like many career nail techs who are already halfway (or more) through their career, I have experienced my share of work scenarios: booth renter, employee, nails-only salon, full-service salon, big salon, little salon, etc., and have landed in a small office space that’s not much more expensive than the going rate on booth rent — and IT’S ALL MINE!

Mom still comes around to visit and I send her on errands for me, and my eldest niece (actually, the BF’s sister’s step-daughter for anyone who insists on adhering to the details of modern family relationships) gets dropped off every other Friday to dust all my bottles of polish and glitter.

But, what with recent considerations of vacations and retirement, it has occurred to me that perhaps I should find myself some genuine henchmen (hench-persons) — licensed hench-persons — to do my bidding.

If all goes according to plan, I will end up adding two employees in the next couple of years.

Actual employees. Complete with payroll taxes, state disability and unemployment, worker’s compensation... all that expensive, scary, legal mumbo-jumbo that made booth rent the standard for the industry.

Why employees? Because, if I do it right, an employee situation stands to make me more money. Because I want to maintain total control of my business. Because I was once a new tech getting started in a big scary world with no mentor, no clue, and no opportunities to build my skills and clientele while still bringing in a reliable income.

So I’ve been doing the research and the math and trying to herd my ducks and get them to stay in a row so I can put my plan for world domination into effect.

Then the BF comes around and says, “Oh hey! You’ll get to put up one of those big posters about minimum wage...and the California Prop. 65 warning sign...and who’s going to be your OSHA officer?”

(insert sound of Pac-man getting eaten by ghosts)

Well doesn’t he just bring up a whole bunch of valid issues? Being an employer comes with a bunch of arguably stupid stipulations — like putting up posters to tell your employees that the state they work in has a minimum wage — that make being an employer terribly unattractive, and risky.

So the next time you, your friends/family/clients/random strangers on the Internet start talking about how we need more jobs, maybe you could take a moment to write to your congressman/woman and tell them that it’d be a lot easier to get a job if creating jobs was as simple as hiring an employee and negotiating a pay scale.

Meanwhile, I have to find approximately 60 square feet of wall space where I can post a bunch of posters before I can even begin to worry about whether or not I can find someone who is willing to do nothing but pedi services.

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