We underestimate the power of our presence. Just sit with someone. You do not have to say a word.

We underestimate the power of our presence. Just sit with someone. You do not have to say a word.

Photo: Pexels.com / RDNE Stock project

In My Grief Is Not Like Yours: Learning to Live After Unimaginable Loss, A Daughter’s JourneyTheo Boyd writes with honesty and raw emotion about the day that started the contagion of devastating events that would leave her “without hope, without purpose, without direction.” After the terrible shock and pain of losing her mother, losing her father, and losing her marriage, Boyd began writing.

“I had to record my thoughts, questions, feelings, and fears. I needed to read something that hit me as hard as I had been hit.” 

— Theo Boyd, Speaker, Author, Influencer

My Grief Is Not Like Yours interweaves the story of Boyd’s struggle with complicated grief — the type of heavy, lingering grief that comes after an unexpected, unspeakable loss — with a tribute to her extraordinary parents, both native Texans, and their devotion to each other.

In an interview, Boyd added some heartfelt advice from a person who lived through extraordinary grief.

Five survival tips to manage grief during the holidays

  1. Keep their memory alive by sharing stories, making their favorite holiday dishes, or simply taking the time to let someone know that you will not forget their loss. 
  2. Get professional advice (not the unsolicited advice of those around you). Find a professional person to talk to who specializes in your specific type of grief or situation.
  3. Give yourself grace to manage the holiday season. If you do not think you can entertain like you always have, don't. Believe it or not, people will understand. Give yourself the time you need to rest, reflect and repair.
  4. Just journal it! I find that writing helps me heal. In my book, I have an exercise called 100 Things. Write down 100 things (or fewer) about the person you are missing or the situation with which you are struggling.
  5. Just sit with someone. You do not have to say a word. We underestimate the power of our presence.

By talking openly about the emotional and mental aftershocks of loss, survivor’s guilt, fear of death, and suicide in My Grief Is Not Like Yours, Boyd offers her readers comfort in knowing that in grief they are not alone, and, like her, they will find joy again.

About the Author: 
5 Tips to Overcome Grief and Loneliness Over the Holidays

Photo: Bryan Chatlien

Theo Boyd, whose given name is Thelizabeth after her two grandmothers, Thelma and Elizabeth, is a farmgirl at heart. For most of her adult life, she lived in Waxahachie, Texas, about 30 minutes south of Dallas, where she taught high school English, raised her daughter and was an active volunteer in various organizations, her community and her church. After 30 years, she moved back to her hometown of Whitney, Texas, to come to terms with the death of her mother in a tragic farming accident, followed three years later by her father’s suicide. She now devotes her time to writing and speaking about loss, grief, and faith with the mission of helping others find comfort and hope.

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Originally posted on Modern Salon

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