Maggie Rants [and Raves]

My Christmas Wish? More Time

by Maggie Franklin | December 29, 2014 | Bookmark +

I want more time. More to the point, I wish I had the magic ability to create more time. Like one of those magic stopwatches that freeze time while leaving me free to wander about and get stuff done — or pick pockets — while everyone else is frozen.

That would be awesome!

Aside from picking pockets and generally messing with people’s minds while they are frozen, I would use my magic time to stack clients. I would schedule clients every five minutes then, as soon as they were sitting down and ready to go, I’d click my magic stopwatch and freeze them. I’d do their nails — which would be extra easy since they wouldn’t be fighting me for control of their hands — and then *click* unfreeze them.

I’ve had this fantasy in my head for years now. I think it lends itself especially well to this type of business, but what is it about people who seem to think that if they just stand there and stare at me long enough I’ll magically discover some empty spot in my schedule that I just hadn’t seen before then?

Seriously! It’s been common with phone calls forever; someone calls me and says “I want an appointment.” I get all excited, ask them what service they need, then give them the next few available openings only to have them whine, “you don’t have anything earlier?” When I say no, they go quiet, then “hmmm” and “haww” like they think that if they just hold out long enough I’ll cave in and offer them what they want.

Ain’t gonna happen! Know why? Because I CAN’T MAKE MORE TIME. When I say my next opening isn’t for two weeks in the middle of the afternoon, I mean it. If I say I don’t have any openings after 5 p.m., I mean it. If I say I don’t work on weekends, I mean it! If that doesn’t work, you could say, “Oh. Well can you take my name and number and add me to your cancellation list?” Or you could say, “Oh, those times won’t work for me, thank you.” and hang up. But just waiting like a deer in the headlights isn’t going to accomplish anything.

Now my regular clients are doing it. They know I get busy and yet they don’t plan in advance, so then they stand there blinking at me dumbly because I’m bending over backwards to work them into a spot in three weeks but they want a two-week appointment. These people are right here next to me, looking at my schedule over my shoulder. They can see what’s open!

You know why people do this? I blame restaurants. Few restaurants take reservations anymore. They all do “preferred seating” by letting you “call ahead.” Last week, the BF tried to make a reservation for the family to eat dinner together on our trip to Disneyland. First, the hostess said she didn’t have anything available till after 7:30. We stood aside and did mad texting to our party. We returned to the hostess, who now offered us 5:45, saying they didn’t actually do “reservations” — it was really just preferred seating.

So why bother with setting a time at all?

No matter. People are getting used to that. If they look pathetic enough, someone will make it happen for them.

Not me. I really do only have so many hours in my day. It is what it is. So until Santa brings me a magic Twilight Zone stopwatch — plan your appointments in advance.

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