1. CONSIDER EVERY POLISH BOTTLE
Ummmmm pic.twitter.com/yirlzb4LdO— Loryn Brantz (@LorynBrantz) May 31, 2016
Take forever choosing your polish. If this was "Family Feud," it would always be the #1 answer.
2. BARTER WITH SHRIMP
Offer to pay for your manicure in frozen shrimp.
3. GRAB THE FILE
Hold out your hand imperiously and say, "Give me the file, I'll do it."
4. NEVER ADMIT GUILT
Pick at your nails for a week, then swear to your nail tech that you didn't. How will she know?
5. BECOME THE COMPETITION
Show her your DIY nail job and say, "Yeah, I've been coming here so long, just figured I could do it myself."
6. ASK FOR EVERYTHING
Sit down with a flourish and declare, "I want them FAST. I want them CHEAP. And I want them GOOD." (The two-out-of-three rule applies here, ladies.)
7. LIE WITH IMPUNITY
Look at a dark stain of ingrained dirt under your nail and say, "That dirt wasn't there when I came in."
8. DON'T INTERRUPT ANYTHING
Let her finish all 10 of your nails in the color you chose, then inform her you don't like it at all.
9. INTRODUCE HER TO YOUR FAMILY
Bring in your two kids under the age of five, put down a little blanket where they can play with their toys, then ask the nail tech if she can fill up their sippy cups with water before getting started.
10. INSIST ON SLOW GROWTH
Get really mad because your nails grew out more quickly than they were supposed to.
11. DON'T BE A SOFTIE
Keep your fingers really, really stiff throughout the service. Nail techs love that.
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