Sharon Lavicott, a nail instructor, manufacturer’s educator, and freelance writer, has collected many humorous anecdotes during her nine years in the nail industry. Here, she shares some of the more outlandish nail stories she’s heard from clients in the course of her career:

My client Jeannie loved the burgundy-red leather interior of her Jaguar so much, I concocted a special blend of nail polishes to match her car’s interior. One day, while driving and admiring how color-coordinated her nails and fag were, she was involved in a fender bender. No one was hurt, except for her fingernails’ paint job, of course.

In her new red outfit, with her nails painted to match, Kathryn sipped a piña colada. As she had requested, her hairstylist had cemented her hair with spray. “Everything else may blow in the wind,” she thought, “but not my ‘do!’” As she felt the eyes of a gorgeous guy watching her from across the bar, she unconsciously raised her hand to fluff her hair.   Horror overwhelmed her as she realized her nail was stuck in her hair! Mr. Gorgeous thought she was waving at him and took the opportunity to introduce himself. Quick wit came to her rescue, and she apologized for not being able to shake his hand, explaining her hand was “otherwise engaged.”

Mr. Gorgeous (whose real name was Rob) helped her disconnect her nail from her hair and connected with her the next day for a date. At last report, the “otherwise engaged” hand is officially engaged — sporting a diamond engagement ring! Kathryn gave the nail responsible for this happening a place of honor in her memorabilia, right next to her first prom flowers!

For Chris, an artificial nail wearer, her New Year’s resolution was to stop smoking, and when her fingernail caught on fire while on a date, she hardened her resolve. She could have been mistaken for the Statue of Liberty with her glowing artificial fingernail! She doused her flaming fingernail in a glass of water. Her date was (no kidding) a volunteer fireman! To this day, Chris still gets teased about her “hot date!”

Housecleaning proved to be hazardous for one client named Joy. She was good about wearing gloves most of the time when cleaning, but she removed the gloves to remove a small item stuck in the sink drain. Don’t ask me how, but she managed to get her nail stuck in the drain, too. Can you imagine calling 911 for that?

The next incident happened to me. One time, while checking into a posh hotel for a hair and nail show, I reached into my pocket to tip the bell-boy. The tip he got wasn’t exactly what he had in mind. As I pulled out the bills, my red nail tip, which had broken off the week before, was mixed in with the money I handed him!

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