Calendar-Challenged

I understand that people’s schedules are subject to change. People go on vacations, they get sick, they get called in to work. I try to be accommodating to those changes which, as we’ve discussed at length lately, has become increasingly difficult for me.

What I don’t understand is how it is that so many people don’t seem to understand how to use a calendar. I get that a lot of people don’t live and die by their calendars the way we do, so intimately understanding the nuances of the digital scheduling software included on every single freaking cell phone since 1999 might not be second nature to the average Jane Doe client. But seriously. It’s not rocket science.

If you know you have something coming up — say a two-week cruise to Hawaii — you should know what dates you’ll be gone. Maybe you should have that written down somewhere. So when you show up somewhere — say at your nail appointment — you can accurately inform your nail lady of the correct dates that you will not be available.

I can’t count the number of times I have sat right here, in front of this very computer, with my hands on the keyboard, staring at my calendar while someone stares hopelessly at their phone and tries to reschedule their next appointment with me because they won’t be in town.

OK. My clients are all adults. They have jobs and children and husbands and stuff. I tend to get it in my head that they are of sufficient intellect to manage something as simple as a nail appointment. So I sit and wait while they look up their vacation dates and then relay those dates to me. I look up their regularly scheduled appointments and say, “OK. So you are leaving on the 4th and you are coming back on the 19th? So we’re just going to go ahead and cancel the appointment on the 16th?”

Then they say, “Yeah. I won’t be here for that one. Do you have anything for the 20th?”

I laugh. I say, “Um, no. The next thing I have is your next regular appointment on the 2nd of next month.”

This goes back and forth until we come to an agreement. I repeat what we have just agreed on. I start typing. I repeat it again. Then I repeat it one more time, phrasing it differently.

Life goes on.

Mind you, they get an e-mail every time I make a change to their schedule.

And yet...

Without fail, it turns out that it all went wrong. The client gets a text reminder 24 hours before her appointment, then I get a text saying, “I’m not in town this week, remember?”

I look it all up. I read all the little notes I’ve started making sure to keep for just these occasions. I desperately want to text back, “Yes. I remember you standing right next to me with your calendar in your hand while you told me that it was next week that you were out of town.”

I don’t do that. I raise my eyes to the heavens and scream bloody murder, cursing the mischievous devils who toy with my life like this. Then I begin a long string of texts in an attempt to straighten things out.

Which no one can seem to answer simply either:

ME: “I had it down that you would be here tonight, but you would miss your appointment on the 16th.”

THEM: “No. I’m on vacation, remember?”

I love that texting is the norm for communications now. It means they can’t hear the desire to choke them in my voice.

ME: “OK. So you won’t be here tonight? But you WILL be here on the 16th?”

THEM: “No. I’m out of town this week.”

Huh?

ME: “But you will be here for your appointment on the 16th?”

THEM (usually three hours later): “Yes.”

I spend a lot of time trying to sort things out and get back to work, and when I see them, they laugh it off and tease me about screwing it all up because I’m so busy.

I think it’s so sweet of them to not get all upset about me screwing up their appointments when they were the ones who couldn’t work a calendar.