1. CONSIDER EVERY POLISH BOTTLE

Ummmmm pic.twitter.com/yirlzb4LdO

— Loryn Brantz (@LorynBrantz) May 31, 2016

Take forever choosing your polish. If this was "Family Feud," it would always be the #1 answer.

2. BARTER WITH SHRIMP

Offer to pay for your manicure in frozen shrimp.

3. GRAB THE FILE

Hold out your hand imperiously and say, "Give me the file, I'll do it."

4. NEVER ADMIT GUILT

Pick at your nails for a week, then swear to your nail tech that you didn't. How will she know?

5. BECOME THE COMPETITION

Show her your DIY nail job and say, "Yeah, I've been coming here so long, just figured I could do it myself."

6. ASK FOR EVERYTHING

Sit down with a flourish and declare, "I want them FAST. I want them CHEAP. And I want them GOOD." (The two-out-of-three rule applies here, ladies.)

7. LIE WITH IMPUNITY

Look at a dark stain of ingrained dirt under your nail and say, "That dirt wasn't there when I came in."

8. DON'T INTERRUPT ANYTHING

Let her finish all 10 of your nails in the color you chose, then inform her you don't like it at all.

9. INTRODUCE HER TO YOUR FAMILY

Bring in your two kids under the age of five, put down a little blanket where they can play with their toys, then ask the nail tech if she can fill up their sippy cups with water before getting started.

10. INSIST ON SLOW GROWTH

Get really mad because your nails grew out more quickly than they were supposed to.

11. DON'T BE A SOFTIE

Keep your fingers really, really stiff throughout the service. Nail techs love that.

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