I only have two more blog posts left. Then NAILS is free to decide if they’ll hand the ranting over to someone else, or put up a memorial marker in this place to mourn the awesome blog that once resided here.

It suddenly occurs to me that I have SO MUCH to tell you. But I just can’t keep it up anymore. You’ll have to follow me on Facebook or somewhere else that I don’t have deadlines and don’t have to stick to a single subject. Sorry.

In the meantime, have I ever told you about the time I tried to be ecologically responsible?

I was a young and naive nail tech, new to my career. My heart was filled with rainbows and bunnies. I had nothing but the best of intentions to prove that being a professional nail technician was a worthy career path that transcended the dimwitted public’s perception of a drop-out, gum-popping, bimbo.

Twenty-three years later? Well, at least I don’t pop my gum.

So I called the city to find out what I was supposed to do with my hazardous waste. I mean, I was throwing away acetone and monomer-soaked paper towels and cotton pads at a weekly rate that exceeds what the average consumer probably goes through in a decade.

It was only logical to assume that I would need to adhere to EPA regulations of some sort, right?

The city put me on hold. Then the city transferred my call. Then the city department that I got transferred to gave me another phone number to call. The people at that number transferred me. Those people put me on hold. Those people gave me another number. Those people told me to call OSHA.

OSHA laughed out loud at me.

I called the city back. The city said it would fall under the EPA. I called the EPA. The EPA laughed at me.

I called the city back. The city put me on hold. They said they’d call me back.

I called the city.

The city laughed at me.

The final outcome was that everyone insisted a nail salon is not required to follow any particular procedure for hazardous waste disposal. I could just throw the trash out.

I could also just go ahead and empty my chemicals down the sink — “Just make sure you run the water.”

True story.