It has long been known that a really good way to annoy a manicurist is to "paint" your nails.

How it is that the word "paint" used in conjunction with what you intend to do to your nails can cause such controversy I have never understood. Nevertheless, I have heard many a time that you "paint a barn, you polish your nails."

Well I'm here to stand up and shout into the wind! I have been PAINTING nails for over 17 years! Yeah, that's right! P A I N T I N G.

On one hand, I just think it's ridiculous to get our hackles up over these particular semantics. It's just such a non-issue. But, when forced to really sit down and think it out and take a side, I maintain that we paint, not polish. Unless you are specifically speaking of buffing to a high shine, then I'll concede you may actually be polishing. But if you are using any number of lacquer products to apply color to a nail? You're painting. In fact, even if you are painting using gel polish. I just decided — that's painting too.

You are applying color to the nail. A layer of color that will then adhere to the nail for some length of time. That's painting. Just like painting a car. In fact, the types of paint — lacquers and enamels, which may or may not be the same thing depending on which resource you want to cite — are very similar to the ones used for cars. But you'd never say you had to have your car re-polished after being in an accident, would you? In fact, if someone were to speak of polishing their car, most of us would assume they meant they had it waxed and buffed to a shiny finish.

Like polishing silverware.

When my grandmother polishes the silverware I never think she's applying any sort of color to it.

So what's all this nonsense about barns? Go ahead and paint your barn. In fact, why don't you paint your barn to match your nails? Or polish your barn to match your nails. Or polish your silverware to match your nails. Or paint your nails to match your silverware. Or give up the argument entirely and “rock star” over all of it!

How much glitter do you think it would take to cover a barn anyway?

Man. Now I wish I had a barn.