Last week my Internet here at the salon went out.

I am one of those people who is looking forward to throwing my cell phone under a truck someday. I'd like to give up the cell, the land line, the Internet —all of it — and go live off the grid in a shack in the middle of nowhere.

Unfortunately (or not) I really, really like doing nails, and nails is the kind of job that requires interaction with the "real" world on a daily basis. So until my hands curl up in useless, gnarled knots, I maintain cell service and a Facebook account.

I have no problems being away from the computer. To the chagrin of many of my clients, personal friends, and family. I often turn the cell phone off entirely on the weekends and spend my personal time wandering around areas where no cell tower dares broadcast — yes, there are still such areas.

So, when the Internet just suddenly and without notice up and took a vacation on me last week, you'd think I'd have just shrugged it off. Instead, I went slightly mad.

My new cell phone will be two weeks old tomorrow. I am still adjusting to a new brand of phone and its particular idiosyncrasies, along with an updated version of the OS, a new touch screen, keyboard, settings ... seriously, you'd think this was my first smart phone! It would be comical if it was the slightest bit funny.

After crawling around on my hands and knees double-checking all my connections — I have, after all, been doing a lot of remodeling in the salon — I spent 57 minutes on the phone with AT&T technical support while they determined that it was (most likely) a bad modem. So they sent me a new modem, which I connected up as soon as I received it — only to discover I still had no Internet. At. All.

So I wrote my last post from my phone, in a total of three e-mails because the screen on the new phone is so sensitive it would send the e-mail I was writing if I so much as breathed on the "send" button.

Those of you who have adapted to using your smart phones entirely for your Internet needs are truly amazing. I'm just not ready. I love my keyboard, the one I can still use all 10 of my fingers on and never hit the "V" instead of the space bar.

The good news is that, after five and a half hours and TWO AT&T technicians traipsing through my building in a confounded dither today, I have my Internet back — on the computer, the way it was meant to be.

And tomorrow my pedicure bench starts the installation process, which I'll get to Tweet about, because I understand how to do that effortlessly from the computer.

I'll give up the Internet when my hands actually do curl up in useless, gnarled knots — in the meantime, I hope to access it from the computer, and save the phone for calls and texts.