Well, y’all remember how I did that whole employee thing last year? Welcome to tax time!

So I didn’t have much trouble keeping square with the state of California. The employment something-something-board/department/dungeon masters — well, whatever “EDD” stands for anyway — makes it about impossible to get ahold of them by phone. Or email, for that matter. Nevertheless, their website gave me the information I needed to make sure I filled out the right forms and sent the check in the right amount to the right place each quarter. They even made it reasonably easy to inform them that I no longer had any employees so they wouldn’t be expecting any more forms or checks from me.

The IRS, however, has gone to great lengths to make sure that no one can find relevant information for filling out the corresponding federal versions of such forms and checks.

So (shyly looks down and twists toes on the ground) yeah, I kinda didn’t send the Feds their money. NOT that I owed them a bunch or anything, but if they want it so bad, they need to tell me how to get it to them!

Anyway, that’s beside the point. Don’t worry, the Feds are getting their money and my former Baby Bird will get her appropriate contributions to her SSI/Medicare, etc. It just didn’t happen at the end of the quarter like it should have.

Fortunately, I have devoted clients in the tax preparation field.

Unfortunately, all I really learned from the process was why small business owners don’t want to mess with having employees and why so many salons booth rent.

I won’t be hiring another employee unless and until it makes sense to also pay a professional payroll service that will take care of the tax paperwork.

I started off with that plan this time, but after finding out how much it would cost for just one employee, I decided I’d much rather be able to pay that money to my employee in the way of more hours.

I do my own income taxes. I have never had a problem finding the information I need on the IRS website. I have never had a problem figuring out the instructions for their forms. Until I hired someone.

Ugh. So. There ya have it. Won’t be doing that again! But if I ever do, could one of y’all hit me upside the head and remind me what a pain it was?

In other news — a heartfelt shout-out to Jess for taking all that information and patting me on the head with a calming “there there” and filling out the forms for me.