Auf Wiedersehen, Good night, Peace Out!
Sadly, Maggie’s need for balance in her life means saying goodbye to her Maggie Rants blog.
So I happen to be quite a fan of Chinese food. Well, probably not authentic Chinese food (I'm not sure seeing as how I've never been to China), but what most Americans are familiar with as

So I happen to be quite a fan of Chinese food. Well, probably not authentic Chinese food (I'm not sure seeing as how I've never been to China), but what most Americans are familiar with as Chinese food. However, the BF is not. I mean, it could be worse. At least he will eat it, but he pretty much loads his plate up with chow mein and egg rolls and calls it a meal. I can't stand that everything on his plate is all the same color.
So, my point — as if to suggest that I even have one — is that since the BF insists that once a month is all he can stand to eat Chinese food, which includes all other variations of Asian cuisine and (get this) ramen noodles, I have to get most of my fixes during lunch while we are busy working at our separate jobs. Which means I sneak off to Panda Express a lot.
Which is exactly where I enjoyed lunch with my mom just a few days ago.
Are you aware of this thing we call "Panda Express”? It's basically a chain restaurant with Chinese-ish food served cafeteria style. Famous for its orange chicken. They have created these panda characters named, ummmm, Tom Tom and Eddie (had to look it up) for their ad campaign. OK, so if you don't have Panda Express or haven't seen any of these Eddie and Tom Tom ads, you're going to have to check it out. You have the Internet. I know you do — you're on it right now. Open a new window and use the search engine of your choice to check it out. I'll wait …

OK. Now. Am I crazy? Or do those pandas remind you of a certain couple of brothers who happen to own a major nail product company?
Seriously. So I'm walking up to the Panda Express the other day and they have Eddie and Tom Tom on the front doors. One of the bears has painted all his black parts orange and the other bear has apparently managed to only paint himself half orange before the can of spray paint runs out and he's saying to bear one, "Dude! I told you we needed more paint!"
And now I can't look at those pandas without seeing Greg and Habib. In fact, now I can't go to Panda Express without thinking of nails. And I can't look at the Young Nails ads in the mags without thinking of pandas.
I wonder if there's some sort of therapy for this? And when do Greg and Habib have time to moonlight as pandas?
Sadly, Maggie’s need for balance in her life means saying goodbye to her Maggie Rants blog.
Maggie recalls the time she tried to figure out how to dispose of her salon chemicals.
With a vacation approaching, Maggie can’t wait to put some distance between herself and the drama of the salon.
Maggie doesn’t hesitate to confront clients about past sins.
How sick is too sick for a nail appointment?
Maggie is fed up with clients who won’t get off the phone.
Maggie needs to remind herself that she has options.
Maggie is trading in one writing genre for another.
Maggie knows too much about sanitation to get excited about a strange Jacuzzi tub.
Maggie is no longer certain nails are in her long-term future.
Maggie is learning about the downside of success — scheduling is a nightmare.
Maggie contemplates the limits of her charitable impulses.
Maggie is not too keen on clients bringing in their own nail supplies.
Just because Maggie isn’t with a client doesn’t mean she’s not working.
Twenty-two years of doing nails takes a toll on the hands.
Maggie doesn’t want her product reps dropping by.
Maggie enjoys other people’s drama — up to a point.