I live under a rock. Figuratively speaking, of course. Not that I wouldn't live under a rock literally if I could find a nice enough rock. But my point is, I have no idea who you're talking about.

I haven't watched TV in over a year. I don't read the newspaper. I rarely watch movies. I am blissfully — and I do mean blissfully — unaware of most of the things going on in the world outside of my specific interests.

I haven't heard about the horrible thing that happened to that little girl, those teenagers, that woman, etc. And it pains me that this is the sort of news that so many people consider important in their lives.

But that isn't really the point. The point is that I subscribe to People Magazine.

I never read it. It's ridiculously expensive — OK, OK, it does come once a week, so I guess when you take that into consideration, my NAILS Magazine subscription is costing me way more per issue ... but come on! My NAILS subscription is not negotiable! And it has served me far better over the years than any single issue of People.

But I buy People for the salon.

Over the years I have tried all sorts of magazine subscriptions that I not only find personally interesting, but that I think more people should have some exposure to — Cooking Light, Sunset, etc. — only to finally acquiesce to People.

My clients love it. They read it to me while I do their toes. Which is the only way I have any clue who's getting married or divorced or who's dating whom.

I just don't understand why this is so interesting to so many people? I have all the drama I need right here in real life, marching in and out of the salon every day.

Maybe that's just a lobe of my brain that I cleared out to use for knowledge of all things glitter?