If you ever have the occasion to sit at my table during a class, don’t be surprised when I tell you to spit out your gum. In fact, why would you chew gum while you are working? Why are you chewing gum while watching a demo at a tradeshow, or listening to a lecture?

If you are going to chew your cud, you should be standing in a field!

We are professional, technical artists and we work with our mouths 18 inches away from the ears of our clients. We talk a big talk about educating our clients and making a strong impression by presenting ourselves professionally. How do you expect to accomplish this when you don’t even realize you look like Flo from Alice’s diner and everyone around you is waiting for you to end a sentence with, “Kiss my grits”?

There are few things that are more visually dumbing than chewing gum. And if someone can hear you chomping and popping 20 feet away across a crowded room, then you can sure as heck bet that your clients can hear it across the table while you’re trying to convince them that you’re not just some “gum-snapping bimbo” explaining to them the difference between you and the budget salon on the corner. Meanwhile, your client is thinking, “Really? Then what’s with the gum-snapping?”

People. Listen to me! If people can tell that you are chewing gum, then you are doing it wrong.

The sound is distracting and it makes you look like a cow. Listening to you smack your gum while I’m trying to benefit from a long-awaited, expensive, and time-consuming opportunity for higher education has me contemplating going on a bloody rampage.