I just don’t understand people. In oh-so many ways.

But why do I constantly have to tell clients to pull their chair in and actually sit at my desk?

Why do they leave the chair three feet away from the desk, all askew where the last person left it?

Why do they need to actually be told to skooch in?

How can they not tell that their hands are too far away from me?

How can they not tell that I can’t get a grasp on their hand if they are sitting sideways in their chair?

Why don’t they know that moving their hands means I can’t do their nails?

Why is it a big surprise to them that leaning over to fish their cell phone out of their purse moves the hand I’m working on?

How does a client who has worn gel for seven years still not understand that the gel won’t cure if it isn’t under the light? And that it’s sticky till I wipe it off?

Nearly 22 years now and I’m still repeating the same mantras: “Skooch your chair in, sit up straight, facing me...relax your hands...please stop dancing...go ahead and keep your phone on the table so you don’t have to take your hands away from me when it rings...”

And last week I had a client who was utterly confused as to why I kept moving her drink to her side of the table. She kept placing it right in front of her, on my side of the arm rest, right where her arm would rest as I held it.

When I told her I was going to have to have her keep it over on the corner of her side of the table, she looked at me with such sincere confusion as she asked why.

Uhhhh...I dunno? Because that’s where our hands will be during the service? And someone is going to hit that cup and knock it over and juice is going to go everywhere.

It’s like they think I’ve never done this before...It’s like they’ve never done this before.