The Beauty Pro Book Club: 4 Reads to Inspire Growth and Success
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by Anne Moratto
When People Pleasing Backfires
In a world where everyone loves to give an opinion, why ignoring some of them can be the best thing you do. Business consultant Phil Jackson from Build Your Salon, discusses how not all opinions count.
by Phil Jackson
June 15, 2021
Phil Jackson
3 min to read
We are people pleasers: we have to be.
There aren’t many industries where your job, your career, your very success relies on the fact you can form an intimate relationship very quickly and maintain that friendly relationship with a customer over a long period of time.
The problem is that we reach a level of success where being a people-pleaser can actually start to hold us back. Let me explain.
I recently took a phone call from another salon coach - quite frequently I get approached by other mentors and coaches for a kind of "getting to know you call." There's not usually an agenda: it's our form of networking I suppose.
I took a call from a guy who seemed nice - I hadn't spoken to him before but we ended up chatting for about an hour and a half. He'd come across my work in the past and he made one tiny throw away comment during our conversation. He probably didn’t mean anything by it and I don't think there was malice behind it, but it had a real impact on me.
He said "I didn’t expect to like you."
That tiny little comment is what stayed with me after. I started to replay it, lying in bed that night wondering what I was doing wrong that makes people switch off. I wondered about the content of my writing and my videos because I always share with an open heart and my intention is always that you have a stronger business because of our time together.
Nearly a week later I kind of had to give myself a metaphorical slap around the face and to remind myself that actually the only opinion that matters is that of your marketplace. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks - certainly not your competitor.
This guy is not and will never be my customer. He’s not you, he’s not my audience.
So I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but I’m giving you full permission to ignore as many opinions about your business as you would like from now on! Learn from my week of paranoia!
There are people out there who would try and tell you that you are too ambitious, there are people out there who will tell you the things that you are striving for are beyond you or are unrealistic, or maybe that you don’t even deserve them.
Those are the kinds of opinions that will hold you back and trying to please those people will destroy your success. They aren’t coming from a place of harm, they’re not trying to hurt you - in fact the opposite; they are trying to keep you safe and it’s uncomfortable for people to watch you change.
Recognise the fear in others - then ignore them!
With 20 years in the salon industry and a passion for innovation, Phil Jackson is an international business coach offering a unique perspective on the challenges of salon ownership. Phil works with many salons, barbershops and spas around the world to build a business they can feel proud of, making sure they look outside the box and consider all aspects of the business.
Originally posted on Modern Salon
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