That's the Way the Toilet Paper Rolls

I was all ready to go off on ... well, let's face it, I have a stack of issues to address. So I was all set to tick at least one of them off the list with this entry when my September issue of NAILS Magazine arrived.

The magazine itself is, as most issues have been for the last 18 years now, just fine. I may end up having some issue with one of the articles, but nothing to write home — or NAILS — about. BUT THEN I came to page 85. Nail Art Studio. Two pages of nail art designs, submitted by readers, with step-by-step instructions on how to do it yourself. I'm sure you're already familiar.

And it struck me that this is exactly the sort of thing that deserves a good, old fashioned ranting! And the BF and dogs — and the neighbors, seeing as how I was reading it on the patio — will all agree, since they were all forced to listen to my little tantrum about the dang nail tips shown in the magazine.

You wanna know a real pet peeve of mine? I absolutely cannot stand it when nail art is displayed upside-freakin’-down! As every single one of the designs on page 85 is.

I know. I get it. Sometimes people actually do hold up their hand in such a manner to show their nails to someone. But let's face it, mostly they don't. Mostly they hold their hands down, so that the nail art is displayed in the same manner as it was applied. But even that isn't my biggest issue. I mean, what do I care how my clients hold their hands when they're stopped on the street by strangers demanding to see their nails?

What I do care about is that the tips shown in the magazines are there to serve as sample images to guide us through recreating these designs.

I do not hold my clients' hands in this position to apply nail art. I apply nail art with the hand resting on the tabletop, fingers pointing toward my belly button. Sometimes, when I'm working on a really detailed design, I might hold their hand up higher — fingers pointing at my cleavage — and put my tongue on my nose to help me concentrate. Really, I make the stupidest faces while I'm concentrating. But I do not twist their hands around and point their nails toward the ceiling — or their own cleavage — in order to execute the design.

These tips are upside-down. And it bugs the heck out of me! And yeah! I know it's not a major, important issue that faces our industry that needs to be addressed immediately before the industry collapses in ruin. But — like which way the toilet paper hangs off the roll — it's a really annoying pet peeve. And everyone needs to just admit that I am right and stop displaying nail art upside down. Right now.