A Better Picker Upper

In a few weeks, the April issue of NAILS will get mailed out and, in addition to getting to see the cover I got to do, you'll also get to read the behind-the-scenes story and photos of the process.

And you're going to get to see me picking up rhinestones with a lowly little bamboo shish-kabob skewer. (Yes, there are rhinestones — hope I'm not giving away too much too soon.)

Now, I'm sure that the pictures will make it look like I'm a total pro with that skewer and everyone who is looking for a better way to wrestle rhinestones into submission will get it in their head that those bamboo skewers must work, seeing as how Maggie uses one, and all.

I know that this is what readers of the magazine get in their heads because I have been a reader of the magazine for 20+ years now; I always think the people who get featured in the mags must have all the answers or why would they get featured in the mags, right?

Well I'm here to burst your bubble. There are some answers that I am absolutely confident of. There are some that I realize are only my answers, subjective and open to debate. And then there's that dang skewer.

Folks. I confess: I have absolutely no freakin’ clue how to pick up and place rhinestones cleanly and precisely, let alone reliably. I have not yet figured out how to tame the wild, free-range rhinestone. To look cool and calm in the face of such an uncertain outcome. To give the illusion that I am in total control while facing down the unpredictable beasts.

Throughout the years, I have brandished skewers, birchwood sticks, cuticle pushers, dotting tools, silicone styli, pencil erasers, and wet noodles. To no avail.

The smallest of rhinestones are easy enough to keep under control, but as the trends toward bigger-is-better and "treasure" nails advance, I find myself on the verge of losing the battle with the ss12s and 16s.

Don't try to placate me with suggestions of "a little glue or top coat or gel" on the tip of my weapon either. I have been there and done that. I'm tellin' ya, these things are viscous and not to be trusted!

I have devised a weapon worthy of the battle though. I'm just not sure how to go about translating it from the blueprint in my mind to a tangible, three-dimensional tool. Not to mention that I'm not entirely sure it's even possible to make a suction cup that small. But I know that once I am able to build the prototype I will rise victorious over my enemy and gain the power to command the wily rhinestone to once again do my bidding.